On friday as I was finishing up work around 5:30 I get a phone call from Melody who had just made it home. She said to me, “There is a turtle in the house”. My immediate response was, “There’s a turtle in the house?!”.Because a turtle for some reason reminds Mel of her fear of snakes she wouldn’t touch it.

So I left the office and headed home to find a box turtle hanging out by the dog food. I picked up my new friend and carried him or her down to the end of the road and released the turtle into a field. With the emergency avoided comes the next question. How does a turtle get in someone’s house?

I’m sure it came in through the doggy door, but how. It’s safe to say that unless that turtle was Leonardo, there was no way it was leaping up 8-10 inches, after climbing 4 steps, to enter a doggy door through the flap.Now we had a bird in our house once, hiding out beneath a buffet type of chest in our dining room. I don’t know how it got in either. In college, I distinctly remember an experience with a bat in our house and a scene from the Great Outdoors that proceeded to happen. The bird was discovered because the dogs were going crazy trying to get at something underneath the buffet. When I looked I couldn’t believe it was a bird. My only guess is that Harley, or one of the dogs happened to catch this bird and bring it in. It then fled to that spot to stay safe. I was able to get the bird out safely and it flew away.

As of right now I can only imagine two scenarios for the turtle. The first one involves a kid in the neighborhood playing a joke and coming into my fenced backyard to place a turtle through my dog door. This takes some guts because I have 3 dogs, 2 of which are large breeds. Mac is still a puppy, but even still he’s a 65 pound boxer. Vesta on the other hand is an American Bulldog, tips the scales at around 85 pounds, and has a thicker chest and larger head than I have. Though I don’t think either of them would hurt anyone, Vesta by nature is somewhat territorial.

This leads us to the probable scenario. A turtle somehow makes it from the field three houses down or the woods 1/2 mile down the road into my backyard. Mac or Vesta find Mr. Turtle and bring him inside the house in order to throw a party.

Gosh, where do I begin? It has been way too long since I graced these pages with wisdom beyond my years. In fact, that hasn’t happened at all. I will now fill you all in (all 4 of you) on what it is my life has brought to me.

You may think that I misspoke there. Nay. My life BRINGS me things. Mainly because I am too lazy to get up and go get them myself. That is until I recently decided to purchase a Playstation 3. You see, when I get an idea in my head, it bangs away at the inside of my skull until I do something about it. This meant getting up, putting on clothes, brushing my teeth, piling into the car,* and driving twenty minutes to my destination. This may not be a big deal to most people. To me however, it means mental preparation.

Anyway, I got my PS3 and I am freaking psyched about it. It rules. Get one. Now. Jason can’t wait one F$C@I*N# week for me to look for that game? Honestly, I understand!

*Oxford comma

I’ve been on the hunt the past couple of days for the greatest RPG ever made. This eleven year old, original Playstation game, in used condition, fetches more than the original retail price on ebay. People are even selling individual discs from the set. So, if anyone sees this game, in Playstation format - not PC - let me know, or buy it for me - cause I want it.

update: A mint condition original (black disk) copy of FF7 was ordered off of ebay for $70 and is on its way to my home where I will cherish it, play it through, and then sell it for some lucky individual.